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The Duality of Business Ownership & Starting Over with Renewed Focus

Updated: Apr 7, 2022


Some days I am flooded with inspiration and motivation. I know what I have to do and I get it done! I feel like I am on top of it all. Then there are other days when I am drowning in anxiety, fearing failure in every way, shape, and form, which leads to sensations of pointlessness as well as periods of paralysis. Sound familiar?

If you have never owned a business, this is where you might ask yourself, well then why would you ever do this to yourself?? I will never be able to answer that in one blog post. The journey to forming my official LLC in 2017 has been 2 decades in the making. Telling the story could take even longer...I hope you'll stay with me as I unpack it. To answer the question simply, I do it because I can. I do it because I believe I can now that the voice of my inner monologue is my own. I have done "the work" to be able to turn my experiences into greater good. My emotional immune system has built an arsenal of antigens against all forms of toxicity from careers, to relationships and even family. I do it to educate others that owning your life is the same as owning a business.

I feel called to share my experiences, because I am now backed by "a village" of small business owners and community members experiencing the same cyclones of emotions, experiences, and challenges. Just being a part of a local women's business group taking action on Facebook (and off) has changed my life and instilled confidence, taught me new things and created a physical community which was lacking in our "hyperconnected" metaverse. I cannot wait to look back 5 years from now because they have propelled me forward at a time where I was going stagnant again. Yes, again...if I didn't find them last summer, I would have likely given up and returned to the mainstream workforce, leaving nothing at the end of the day for myself to build with.

I made a decision to remove my early blogs to start over because they were largely unfocused and no longer relevant now that I challenged myself to think differently. In 2017, when this blog was formed, we had not experienced the economic and psychological effects of a global pandemic. In present day, 2022, we aren't even done with the shockwaves but I don't care to focus on the varying political narratives and opinions of it all. I am bored with the predictable influx of memes with every new major event, or political inaugurations, even if some are funny.

I am ready for action and done being distracted with "the feed". The entirety of my priorities have completely shifted with an increased sense of urgency to "wake up" and decrease dependence on mass-scale systems for survival and to SUPPORT LOCAL. I can write an entire piece about this but I will just mention the sole factor which abruptly woke me up. I did the math and I will always refer to this story...

Summer 2021, I visited farmers markets in my area for the 1st time since buying my house in 2016. One of my purchases was three GIANT zucchini, each weighing over 4 pounds! They were 3 for $1. So, for $1, I got 12lbs total. Remember this.

These are perfect for zucchini bread!

Just in case there were any doubts.

I was baking zucchini breads up a storm and zucchini became impossible to find other than commercial grocers. Now I won't say where I went shopping when I finally broke down but I was rudely awoken in that produce section that day. As of 3/9/2022 the price remains at $1.99/LB. This means, the zucchini pictured above, which, you'll remember cost me just $0.33 would cost me $8.46. The pile of zucchini that I purchased for $1 would have been $25.48. That is NOT food to feel good about! Meanwhile, these same local farmers are struggling to sell!

I spent the winter hibernating and digging into things more. I spoke to restaurant owners, farms, retail stores and all sorts of people about challenges in their disciplines and begun a few data and social media projects to organize information better to do more with less, right here at home. Social media has become so noisy, that it is impossible to keep up with even though we somehow know what is going on with people we have not seen since childhood. It is also quite violent at times. I have created a couple of local focus groups with the hopes of creating less inflammatory places on "the web" for people to come together for a collective community action. I have been effectively changing the ways in which I use social media, hiding out from the mainstream feed and spending most of my time in these community groups.

If you live in or near Wayne County NY or just want to check them out...

Homesteader and Community Garden Group

Dog Owner Community

I hope you will follow along and participate in conversations! I have a renewed focus for this blog and hope to co-write articles with local subject matter experts, from wellness, to gardening, community members and more!

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